The end of the beginning

27th October, 2016 in Part 1: The Daily Grind
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The end of the beginning
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Author Notes:

Jammy 27th October, 2016 edit delete
Jammy
Sorry this page is relatively late! I've been working. For now it's just a one day thing, but hopefully I'll be able to go and help again with some other stuff in the future. Gotta go back in a bit actually! Heh, today was a good day. ^w^

So yeah! That was chapter 1 of the comic. For the next update, would people rather I just post the cover, or post the cover and an actual page? It'd be great to get some thoughts. Thanks!

Comments:

azureXtwilight 27th October, 2016 edit delete reply
azureXtwilight
I see your poses are definitely improving!

Also, just a cover is fine, it helps to build a buffer in my opinion.
Jammy 27th October, 2016 edit delete reply
Jammy
Thank you so much! I hope to keep getting better. Also that's very true. Can never have too much buffer.
PeterVonBrown 27th October, 2016 edit delete reply
PeterVonBrown
uh...DAMN! Well played, Jammy.
A cover is fine... the nature of webcomics is to wait gleefully for more, right? :)
Jammy 27th October, 2016 edit delete reply
Jammy
Thanks so much! Awesome, looks like it'll be the cover next week. 0w0
Shirokuro 27th October, 2016 edit delete reply
Shirokuro
HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HIS BEAUTIFUL HAIR!!?
Jammy 27th October, 2016 edit delete reply
Jammy
One unfortunate drawback of having an awesome mane XD
MadJak91 27th October, 2016 edit delete reply
MadJak91
Yep... What now?
You know, if anything, it will teach him some discipline and how to stay out of trouble. You cannot be a softy on the sea!
Jammy 27th October, 2016 edit delete reply
Jammy
That is certainly true! Whatever happens from here, it will not be easy.
Zanreo 27th October, 2016 edit delete reply
Zanreo
Nice action and poses in this page! That sure looks painful O_o

Also, just a cover is fine!
Jammy 27th October, 2016 edit delete reply
Jammy
Thank you so much! I really enjoy drawing scenes like this. And great, seems it's decided!
Miaubol 28th October, 2016 edit delete reply
Miaubol
yes, that escape was just doomed to fail.
Jammy 28th October, 2016 edit delete reply
Jammy
Yep! ^w^'
Respheal 31st October, 2016 edit delete reply
Respheal
Ouch! And then more ouch! Nathan's poor head :c
Jammy 1st November, 2016 edit delete reply
Jammy
Yeah... All in all really not a good day for him!
Lilbluebox 2nd November, 2016 edit delete reply
I believe I promised you a comment almost a week ago. Time to make good on my word.

Okay, so since this is the end of the chapter, and I wanted to do a little chapter summation for you, I went back and reread the chapter. As a result, I discovered things I had not picked up on the first time around (or that I just forgot about, which is also pretty likely.) Like the little Sebastian and his daddy in the page two crowd scene. Kind of makes me wonder if any other future important characters are hiding in there...

The crab in page five, which I think I just forgot about. Nate's. Freaking. Face. In literally everything. I don't think there's a single panel with his face that I dislike. The expressions in this comic are absolute gold.

Oh, and the sparkles when Sebastian gets his first full body shot. I KNOW I missed those the first time around and I'm kicking myself for it because it gave me a much needed smile this morning. Fantastical stuff.

(And in rereading, I'm actually looking out for that foreshadowing stuff. THIS time I'm picking up on it and I feel dumb. Doy-iiiiiii.)

Now, for the latest page. Pages without dialogue are, I'd assume, tricky to get right (keep in mind I'm primarily a prose gal, and dialogue is my bread and butter.) but I think you did an excellent job with this one. It runs fairly smoothly - a little clunky with the movements, in bits, but practice will improve that. And it's perfectly understandable, which is something I personally struggle with when reading pages that have zero dialogue hints, so well done there. The clunkiest panel transition is one to two, and I'm not even sure why, so maybe it's just me?

I do love Nate's hair getting grabbed to stop him from going on. That panel just looks very pretty to me, with the hair sticking out of that hand like that. And from there it flows very smoothly and logically into 'wham' explosion panel and the little starbursts drifting into a giant black bottom to the page are, what I think, make this page truly great. I think you almost nailed this one, and in typing this, I think I figured out why the first two panels are clunky!

To me, the transition from Nate running by himself to the next panel, where the arms are coming from off-panel to grab Nate, but they're right next to where he was in the previous panel is what's throwing me. But overall, it's a minor thing.

You've nailed chapter one, Jams. Good premise, good characters and dialogue, good grasp of paneling and art. You've set up some interesting things and set some stuff in motion. It'll take a while to gain momentum, but all snowballs rolling down hills do.

This was a wonderful first chapter. I can't wait to find out what's in store.

Jammy 2nd November, 2016 edit delete reply
Jammy
Aw Blue thank you so much for your feedback! It's so helpful and it never fails to make my day >w<

I'm so glad you like the expressions and that stuff you mentioned! I've probably said this before, but I find expressions really fun, and I try to give every character their own 'style' of expressions.

And also thank you for telling me about those panels! I think I see what you mean and how I can make things a little smoother in the future. Ahh, I am just so so glad you like this and think it's working! Thank you so much!
ohnomydear 29th January, 2017 edit delete reply
ohnomydear
ah hell. One of the only times being on the boat looking for anything hydra-related would be safer! Nice pacing on this one, by the way, feels very natural.
Jammy 29th January, 2017 edit delete reply
Jammy
Thanks, I'm really glad!

Safer... Yeah for sure! For now. ¬u¬'